Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hey, why don't you have some Star with your Wars? Am I right?

Boneworms !

Thats's right. Boneworms. I said it. I even bolded it to get my point across.
 We were all thinking it. It's something we've all been worried about for some time now. But how do we get rid of them? Quite frankly, we don't. They live in the ocean and they eat whale bones. Just whale bones. So there's actually nothing to be concerned about, which leads me right into my next topic. Star Wars! (I bolded that too because I'm a bold person... I bolder, if you will)
I'm somehow involved in a Star Wars show this Friday, April 15th at Brand32 which is on Pierpont Ave in 
Salt Lake. I did some pretty incredible Start Wars (did I just go lightsaber green on that word? Yes I did.) themed paintings for it and if you take anything  Jay-Z says seriously, you"ll be there. Why? Because Jay-Z is a very serious man/rapper/boneworm enthusiast.
and with that I give you

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Jake Garn VS Jonathon Baker

     Recently, like 2 weeks ago.....maybe, I don't remember. I decided to become a really good photographer with the pseudonym "Jake Garn". It was a brilliant idea until I remembered that I don't own a camera. Then I remembered all those times in photography class in college when my teacher would politely remind me that it was indeed a "photography" class and not a "making out with girls in the darkroom" class. And by "making out" I mean drawing pictures of robots in the margins of my notebook. And by "girls in the darkroom" I mean failing photography class.
    Coincidently on that exact same day I showed up to work only to discover an already existing "Jake Garn" photographer. What are the odds? Right? Assuming that's his real name and not a pseudonym. (we'll never know for sure....unless we check wikipedia and then it's like 70/30). It was like getting a crane technique kick of disappointment to the face. As usual all the best ideas are taken.
    Anyway, I think Jake(from here on we'll refer to him as Jake) could tell I was bummed and so he offered to let me stick some of my paintings into his photos. It was cool of him to do that right after completely devastating my single greatest ambition for the day. (What else am I gonna do? Paint?)So he picked a few out and I was like " but that ones not finished!" and he was like " I know but I need something to go on that weird fence thing." then we got into an argument about whether Bruce Willis was more bad-ass in "Moonlighting" or "Blind Date". (The answer is neither. Bruce was only bad-ass in Die Hard.)
And here are the results.

Take that society!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Win A Free Painting !!!


What?! 
Yes
 So here's the deal. I'm giving away this super rad painting for free... Almost free.... You might have to do a little work for it.... And some people are gonna get hurt.... Probably not "emergency room" hurt but I'm not ruling it out. 
Anyway
If you've ever heard of a scavenger hunt you're already 3% closer to winning?
That's what this is. 
You do all the stuff on the list, then I'm going to have a drawing for the painting. And, all the cool kids that did it right can be entered in the drawing. and one of those kids will get the painting. Also, that particular cool kid will get to have the nickname "winner" for the rest of his or her life... That's the bonus prize if you win... Awesome nickname.

Here's the stuff you have to do.
(It's not that hard, stop complaining. Also, free painting. Just sayin.)

1: Subscribe to my blog. Now leave a comment on a post that references Karate Kid. 
Hint: Scientist Nerd

2: Go back to Facebook and look in my photos. Find a painting that has a fish in it. leave a comment.

HINT :have lot's of tabs open cause you might have to go back to pages that you've already been to.

3: Go to www.bluecanvas.com . Type "jonathon" into the search box. click on one of the paintings. You should be on my page now. Find a painting that has a guitar in it. click on it. Now go to the share artist button and share to your Facebook page.

4: Go back to Facebook and find "the Hive Gallery" page. Leave a nice comment. (Nothing mean. They're very sensitive, and we don't want any of that internet bullying going on.)

5: Guess what?! Facebook again. Find my artist fan page. Like Me. I know, you already do. I'm sayin, click the "like" button on my fan page. So easy. Leave a comment even.

6: OK last one. Go to the "Cuts, Bruises and Broken Bones" event page on Facebook. Leave a comment. doesn't even have to be nice. (It's an event it doesn't have feelings).

That's it. the drawing is in one week. That's January 15th 2011.

Good Hunting
Later Skaters